Tom T. Urkee

“Pardon me,” said Tom T. Urkee…”

“Nah, teh me, Mista Tawm T. Urkee, why should Aye ?  Yer jist a common ‘oliday turkey, ye are.  And seeings ‘ow yer rather plump an’ it is the eve of Thanksgivin’ an’ all, I jist don’ see why aye should.   ‘Sides ‘ow would the misses feel, pardonin’ her prize bird?”


“See, Mista Tawm T. I ‘as me orders.”

“I’m begging ya, pardon me!” He put his wings together in a praying position.

“Winston!”, She was behind him now listening as he carried on a conversation in bizarre accents, “Silly fool, kill it already!”

Word count:  100
Written for  Saturday Centus.

18 responses to “Tom T. Urkee

  1. Now THIS was a really clever use of the prompt! I’m laughing myself silly, picturing this in my mind. I just knew that this prompt was going to produce some really fun stories! Kat

  2. I am with Winston…I can eat ’em but not kill ’em.

  3. Yeah. I love turkey meat, but I could never swing the axe! This reminds me of one of the opening scenes of Nick Park’s and Peter Lord’s animated film Chicken Run where laying hen Elvira (that was her name in the Swedish language version) is chosen to become Sunday dinner because she stopped laying eggs.
    But your text has a charm all its own. Very well done.
    Best wishes,

    Anna’s SC wk 29

  4. Thank you for visiting and commenting on my SC-post!

    For the benefit of other readers:
    Anna’s SC wk 29

  5. Hahahaha! That’s really a good one!!

  6. Poor Tawm. Makes me want to be a vegetarian. I am serving ham though. Lawd I all I needs is me a talkin pig!~Ames

  7. Wow, a lot of clever thought and spelling went into this centus. Good job.

  8. I’m so enjoying the variety this week! Nice job.

  9. What a great Centus day! This one is a riot! Love it.

  10. The voices are so authentic. I really got into this one, and I wanna save that bird. Great post! Happy turkey time. xo

  11. Oh my WORD! That’s hilarious! Ha ha ha!

  12. Love it! The dialect is spot-on, and it’s so, so funny. Great use of the prompt!


  13. LOL! Great story with super dialogue. I don’t care for killing my food personally. Unless it’s fish. In which case I always give them a two minute head start to run away. It’s only fair. Great take on the prompt this week!

  14. This was great! I love the accent!

  15. Poor old Tom. He seems quite literate and can speak the language! However, he met his fate with a heartless woman. Sigh.

    I just posted my story. Please come by and check it out.


  16. this was fun…reminded me of My Fair Lady, and the way she talked before she was “educated” 🙂

  17. Love the dialect in this story! It actually reads out loud wonderfully.

    Yea, strangely, I do that. I often read the stories aloud to myself.

    Very clever!

    I’m totally enjoying this weeks reads!

  18. Fun read; enjoyed it. 🙂

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